THE (UNEXPECTED) JOYS OF FATHERHOOD

There are certain joys in parenting that most guys pretty much expect once the paralyzing terror of fatherhood has sufficiently worn off. Things like seeing your baby smile at you (probably because the sight of you somehow made her fart), or reading a bedtime story (to a child who has yet to learn English), etc. But I've found that the greatest joys were the ones that caught me by surprise; the ones that, in any other circumstance, would have been repulsive to me. Here are just a few.

1. BEING RESPONSIBLE. Just 21 days ago, I was not. I wasn't really even trying to be. Now I am ... trying, that is. And I like it. If you would have told me I would one day enjoy being responsible I would have poked you in both of your eyes and said "Woop woop woop woop!"

2. DRIVING LIKE A DAD. Just 21 days ago, one of my pet peeves was people who drive like a dad (which is really just 5mph away from driving like an old lady). But, on the way home from the hospital, we went a cool 45 mph on 93S, never once changing lanes, actually slowing down at yellow lights and clinging white-knuckled to the steering wheel like I was 16 all over again. But I loved it. Have you ever noticed that driving really is like flying down a concrete corridor in a steel deathtrap at breakneck speeds? I didn't either ... until 1/26/06.

3. THE EXHILIRATION OF DIRTY DIAPERS. Just 21 days ago, dirty diapers would have made me gag. I have two neices ... and both of their poo grossed me out (it still does, I think, but they're both potty trained now, so I don't get to see their poo as often as I used to ...). But now, diapers loaded with that gooey mustard-colored poop-cream fill me with an unspeakable joy. Even the smell of it makes me smile to myself. I think it's because it tells me that my daughter is eating well and getting nourished ... and that all of her plumbing is in good working order.

4. NOT BEING THE CENTER OF MY OWN UNIVERSE. This was really unexpected in the sense that I had effectively convinced myself that I wasn't the center of my own life anyways ... Jesus was. But, when Lydia came around, I was surprised at how much of my life really was all about me: my needs, my wants, my desires. All of that got turned over and, for the first time, I've actually gone through portions of my day NOT serving myself. What a novel idea: to not serve myself for portions of the day. I guess it shows that I have a lot more to learn about what it means to love Jesus. Especially since Lydia has now commanded more of my allegiance than He has. Oops ...